Performance anxiety is sneaky. It can feel like an old friend and a new foe all at once. One moment, you think you’ve “gotten a grip” on it; the next, it resurfaces in a completely new arena — like stepping back into competitive pool as an adult, only to feel the same shaking, scattered breathing, and self-doubt that haunted you in high school sports.

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You’re not alone — and there are evidence-based ways to approach it, drawing from Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

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ERP: Facing the Fear Without Losing Yourself

 

ERP teaches that avoidance or attempts to control anxiety often fuel it, even when you’ve “learned to handle it” in the past. The first step is noticing that the anxiety itself isn’t dangerous — your mind is generating signals that something is at stake, even when your body and skills are fully capable.

 

How this could look in practice:

1. Identify triggers of anxiety: Is it the act of shooting in front of others? Being “evaluated”? The thought, “What if I mess up?”

2. Create an exposure hierarchy: Rank situations from slightly challenging to extremely anxiety-provoking (e.g., shooting alone → shooting with one friend watching → a local casual match → a competitive tournament).

3. Approach, don’t avoid: Gradually engage in these situations, letting yourself experience the anxiety without trying to escape or neutralize it. Notice the thoughts that show up while you're anxious and the physical sensations — shaking, racing heart, scattered thoughts — and acknowledge and make room for them as you keep performing.

4. Resist compulsions: Compulsions are behaviors you might to do to avoid or neutralize the anxiety, and they are counterproductive in ERP. They aren’t just physical actions; they can be mental loops, self-talk, or perfectionistic adjustments. The key is noticing urges to overthink, over-prepare, or self-monitor excessively, and not acting on them.

Over time, ERP helps your brain learn: “I can perform even when anxiety is present.” You’ve done it before, and you can do it again — it’s about retraining your brain to allow discomfort without it dictating your actions.

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ACT: Reconnecting With Values and the Present Moment

 

ACT approaches performance anxiety from a slightly different angle. Instead of focusing on eliminating anxious thoughts, it asks:

“What kind of player, competitor, or person do I want to be in this moment  – anxiety and all?”

 

ACT strategies that may help:

• Practice staying in the present moment: Instead of trying to fight the shaking hands or scattered thoughts, notice and label them: “I feel nervous. My heart is racing. My hands are shaky.” Then gently return attention to the present task – the cue ball, the shot, the rhythm.

• Values-driven action: Ask yourself, “Why do I play pool? What matters to me?” Maybe it’s mastery, connection, focus, fun, or challenge. Let those values guide your actions rather than the anxiety.

• Self-compassion: You’ve experienced anxiety before and still performed. Acknowledge your courage, rather than judging yourself for feeling the same way again.

ACT reframes anxiety not as a roadblock but as part of your full experience, something you can carry while moving in a meaningful direction. In other words, the anxiety doesn’t need to disappear for you to succeed – it just needs to coexist with the action you value.

 

Why Anxiety Keeps Showing Up

 

Your story highlights a very common phenomenon: just when we feel “in control,” the mind finds a new way to generate challenge. This isn’t failure — it’s the brain’s natural way of keeping you alert and engaged.

 

Both ERP and ACT teach similar truths:

• You don’t need anxiety to perform — but it will appear anyway.

• Avoidance reinforces anxiety’s power over you; acceptance and exposure diminish it over time.

Growth happens when you engage with your life, even when the old fears show up.

 

A Practical Way Forward

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1. Notice the old patterns: Recognize the familiar self-critical thoughts and physical sensations.

2. Start small exposures: Maybe practice under mildly challenging conditions first.

3. Focus on values, not outcomes: Play pool for skill, challenge, or connection — not just to silence anxiety.

4. Track progress over feelings: Measure success by engagement in valued action, not by absence of anxiety.

5. Seek expert guidance: An experienced therapist who specializes in the treatment of anxiety and OCD can help tailor ERP exposures and ACT exercises specifically to performance anxiety, preventing the “too hard” or discouraging moments you’ve encountered before.

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Remember: you’ve done this before, you’ve performed despite anxiety, and your brain can learn to do it again. ERP and ACT are two complementary paths — one helping you face the fear, the other helping you choose valued action as you do so.